Sugar Daddy Abandonment

I feel utterly abandoned.
By God.
By the wish granting genie.
That's kind of absurd.
To imagine there is a big sugar daddy in the sky
That grants all my wishes…
just because I have them.

To believe that I deserve something--
Just because I want it.
I feel infantile.

But what is it to grow up?
To know that you may or may not get, and never know why?
To understand that the truth of it all is beyond us?
To not know.
It feels like opposite day in kindergarten.
Grow up and know that you don't know and never will.
Ultimately you will never know with your mind.

Leave the mind and join the heart.
The mystery.
In the mystery, at least you can feel it.